1.”Nope, I don’t play basketball…”
So I am tall. For some reason, for short people, that means I must play basketball. How does that even make any sense? Did you really ask me that? I am a clumsy piece of work who accidentally kicks the ball when I try to dribble. Hey short-stuff, are you a gymnast? (Sounds like a pretty dumb question, huh?) When someone asks me if I play basketball, I have to do an awkward and forced fake laugh and politely say no – every. single. time.
2. “Sure, I can get that off the top shelf for you…”
Yeah. Tall girls reading this know the struggle. You’re minding your own business, shopping for some butter and paper plates and you see a 5’2 something, making it way too obvious that she is having no luck on reaching the vintage soup mixture off the top shelf. You pretend you are looking at something you have no intention to buy and you hear that dreaded sound “Oh, Excuse me M’am, would you mind getting that off the top shelf for me?” Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind helping my fellow citizens out, but it is kind of embarrassing towering over some short person and successfully reaching something that they can’t – without even having to stand on your tippy toes.
3. “No, I can’t go out with him, he is only 5’10”.”
Yeah, this one is probably my least favorite tall girl problem. You see a super cute guy in the distance, and as he gets closer you realize he is short. Or, you’re looking at a guys dating profile and the entire profile is perfect in every way – until you check his height. Should you try dating a shorter guy just this once? Nope, can’t do that – so you shed a tear or two….or more.
4. “Do y’all sell these jeans in Long/Tall?”
Yeah. This is another dreadful struggle. You’re at the mall, checking out all the cute clothes and none of the jeans EVER are available in Tall, but you still ask every time because Lord knows that the short girls have their own PETITE section. I don’t get a section for my height, so I usually have to go order my jeans off of Alloy.
5. “But If I wear heals, I’ll be taller than him!”
Guys think heals are so sexy. But you don’t want to tower over him all night so you go on a date looking like a complete dork in your flats. *sigh* I know the struggle girls…I know.
6. “The weather ‘up here’ is just freakin’ great…thanks for asking”
Oh, another one that makes me cringe. For some reasons this one always gets thrown at me in an elevator. You are literally stuck in an elevator with a person who is curiously eyeing you and here it comes: “Well, How’s the weather up there?!” and you see their face desperately waiting for you to laugh. So you pull out your handy dandy fake laugh and awkwardly reply with some stupid response that makes no sense because you can’t respond honestly because, well, that would be rude.
7. “If you call me Sasquatch one more time…”
Sasquatch, String Bean, Legs, Amazon Woman…Yeah, I have heard them all. It actually hurts my feelings and causes a decent amount of rage from within. If you are going to make fun of my height, at least think of something original and actually funny.
8. “I’m tall? Omg thanks for letting me know! I had no idea!”
The classic. The absolute classic thing us tall girls hear from the general population. “Wow, you’re tall!” – Ya don’t say!?
9. “No, I actually could not be a model.”
Have you not seen my dorky walk, non-symmetrical face, and lack of a thigh gap? No, No, I could not be a model. Your attempt at a compliment is invalid.
10. “Oh, great. Here comes another awkward boob-to-face hug.”
It truly is awkward. It isn’t that awkward when it is your best friend or something, but if its an older person or a relative, it is the absolute worst. I guess this one wouldn’t be something you say out loud when a short person is about to hug you, but you definitely think about it as soon as you know a hug is about to happen.