You know what they say, “If someone is from Texas, you’ll be sure to know because they will tell you right away”. Okay, well, it is true because I am telling you right now, that I am from Texas. I was made in Texas and raised in Texas. I’m a Texan. Did I mention that I’m from Texas? Well, I am currently living in Indiana and let me tell you, it sure does remind you just how great Texas is!
Anyways, the following things are things I miss about Texas, that living in Indiana has opened my eyes to. Giddy-up, here we go:
1. Tacos, Tacos, Tacos
and I sure as hell ain’t talking about Taco Bell. I am talking TACO CABANA (if were staying basic). There are NO Mexican breakfast burrito places here that have a drive-thru….In San Antonio, you can bet your sweet ass that they are on every corner. I suppose this is a blessing and not a curse though, because Lord knows I don’t need them going straight to my ass.
I miss hearing the words “Thank you”, “You’re Welcome” and “M’am”. I miss doors not slamming in my face and I miss hearing a response of appreciation when I say “bless you” to someone as they are sneezing out a big, disgusting glob of goo.
Okay, I know, there are a lot of a-holes in Texas, but there are also lots of Gentlemen who will sweep you off your feet, wearin’ boots and a cowboy hat. draggin you on the dance floor at Cowboys Dance Hall for some two-steppin’. Or those guys with a big truck who take you muddin’ at midnight.
4. Texas Pride
I live in Indiana and I don’t even know what the damn flag looks like. What does that tell ya? In Texas, you plaster that flag up on your wall, your garage, your pickup, your bathroom, your closet, you name it. LOL. PATRIOTISM. COUNTRY. PRIDE. TEXAS. BOOM. POW.
5. Beer Salt
Maybe I am hanging out with the wrong crew but DAMN where is the beer salt? I tried walkin’ into a liquor store here and asked where I could find the beer salt and they looked at me like as if I had just dropped dead and came back as the black Michael Jackson. Um, ever heard of Lucas? Duhhhhh.
6. The Margaritas
They are extremely generous with the Tequila down there, plus you get beat-faced off of having only one of these babies. They make the ones up here taste like Green Apple Syrup mixed with flat mountain dew, diluted in bland yankee-tastin’ water. In Texas, however, you get extra Tequila AND they shove a bottle of Corona on top. Yes, Please.
7. People actually knowing who Selena is…
Come on people, ANYTHING FOR SELENASSSS.
I can’t even find me a damn 7/11 slurpee up here. Let alone anything as magical as buc-ees!
9. Texas BBQ
And I mean real TX BBQ. Backyard BBQ! I went to a BBQ once up here in Indiana and I swear, I felt like I was eating dry, flavorless, burnt rubber. I just about broke a tooth tryin’ to bite into a piece of “BBQ” up here. The kind that looks like this is what I am talking about when I say Texas BBQ:
10. Country Music
I miss hearing it no matter where I go! And not this new crap country that sounds like Lil Wayne’s about to drop a line, I am talking about music like this:
Honorable mention: Whataburger!!!! I would have made this number 10, but having too many food items on this list would make me look like a fat ass cow so I am hiding the mention of the best burgers on the planet down here in small little letters, gracefully hidden underneath a song about a guy gettin’ his saddle taken from him in Houston.