Don’t let the title fool you. I love shopping. I absolutely love going to any super center retail store and literally going through every single aisle….twice. This is also why I like to shop alone because most people can’t handle my shopping style. Sadly though, we never really get to enjoy ourselves and shop alone at the same time because of jerks who always happen to be in the same store. Even though shopping is a stress relieving activity, the follow things can absolutely ruin your experience.
1. When someone’s looking at the discount section at the same time as you…Awkward!
Will they grab that product you have your eye on? It’s the last one. Who will walk away first? You think to yourself “Oh man, I just wanna go through this stash of discounts all by myself..when is this person going to walk away!?” Then you realize that the other person is probably wondering the exact same thing about you and so now it becomes a game of who will give up first and give the other person space and alone time to dig through the pile of junk we don’t need. (Those big yellow discount stickers always get to me, I can’t help it). What I always do, is pretend I am looking at an item that I need/want (even if I don’t) so it looks like I am genuinely interested and not waiting for that person to move so I can check out the stuff they are looking at. 99% of the time, they walk away first. Still awkward though. Extremely awkward.
2. When someone makes a comment about an item in your cart.
Yeah, this happens often. You will run into one fella that will glance at your cart, see BBQ sauce, chicken legs and a pack of franks and ask “Ooooh, you havin’ a BBQ?! Seriously? This is no time for small talk.
3. When the ONE thing you wanted the most is out of stock.
Seriously? Out of the thousands of items y’all sell, the thing I want is out of stock?
4. When your cart starts making loud noises
This usually happens to me once I already have a dozen items in my cart. All you hear is a loud rhythmic, squeaky sound, resulting in every single person staring at you with disgust. Do they think I put some goo under the wheel because I wanted to do it on purpose? Come on now. And I am definitely not going to walk all the way to the front of the store, and transfer my items to another cart. For some reason though, it is still horrifically embarrassing.
5. Crowded Aisles
Yep. You enter the aisle that has your favorite instant potatoes and you get crammed in the middle of the aisle. You got what you need and it’s time to depart the aisle but the people on both sides of you are concentrating intensely on items on the shelf. You then have to make a decision. Do you say “excuse me” and try to get through? Do you pretend you’re looking at something on the shelf so that you don’t look stupid just standing there? or do you check your phone even though you know nothing has changed since you last looked at it, just so you can look like your not in a hurry or annoyed that others are in the way? Not a pleasant moment.
6. Crap. I don’t want this item anymore. What do I do?!
Do you decide to be a complete jerk and stick that quart of ice cream in the cereal aisle? Do you walk all the way back to the frozen section to shamefully but correctly put it back? You impulsively threw it in your cart because it was 20 cents off + you had a major sweet tooth and convinced yourself to get it because you can just “go for a run” to burn it off. Once you giggle to yourself and realize that “run” is never going to happen, the guilt kicks in, and that is when you have to make that decision. Be a jerk or do that walk of shame. Which do you choose?
7. Dude, Where’s My Car?
I don’t know about the general pop, but I lose my car all the time. It is horrifyingly mortifying! You are literally in a huge parking lot, pushing your cart around in circles, looking like a crazy person. You too like to live dangerously by not paying attention to what aisle number you parked in.
So, besides loading up your cart with glitter, new underwear and peanuts, shopping can be a pretty stressful experience. Will I stop? Nope. Because all of this shall pass and eventually I will be at home digging through my bags of new crap, all wide-eyed and cheery. And that, my friends, is how I “get jiggy with it”
What are your least favorite things about shopping?! Share them in the comments below!